Change your Mindset.

Anytime you make the decision of wanting to improve your life, you will always read & hear people say.."YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR MINDSET."

Reading self help books, you will always read chapters that highlight the importance of changing your mindset. I have grown to understand the vitality of the mindset change. Tricking your mind, dictating your thoughts to focus on not necessarily what is in front of you but the things you can't see. Our mind is programmed in various different ways that say PANIC, RUN, FIGHT when a certain situation comes up in our lives. Tricking your mind to RELAX, REST, MAKE PEACE is not a skill that's easy but it FOR SURE can be done.

Let me just say this, the Bible is the best tool.

The Bible is the best tool because every single "self help" book you'll ever read has copied philosophies from it. These people have literally studied what scientist have studied directly from the Bible.

I found myself constantly praying and thinking of ways to change my mindset. I really wanted to know. My thinking was destroying relationships, my confidence, my strength... How could I ignore the fact that I have no money & I am responsible for another human being that belongs to me, how can I ignore the fact that I don't have my own home anymore, I am completely depending on other people for the basic necessities for my son and I, how could I ignore all of these things that are negative in my life?

A lot of people told me to stop being negative.

I tried. And I've came to the conclusion that it's not negativity, its fear...

I guess that would be easier if I didn't have a child. It's not just me that I'm responsible for and having the feeling of not having the means to handle the things he needs is the scariest thing I have ever experienced in my life. (God please help me)

Now to the Nitty Gritty...

I have been struggling the past couple months with a lot of things. Those storms or afflictions that make me want to give up, panic, run, and fight. Those "What in the heck did I do and how in the heck am I going to get out of this" type situations. Those "Lord, I knew you told me not to, please forgive me..can you help me out of this one" type situations. To be quite honest, I have put myself in a hole and God knows I have NO CLUE how I am going to get out of it. For the first time in my life, I am literally analyzing myself, outside of myself and realizing the areas where I am the weakest at. Of course I am working to improve myself in those areas but most of the time, I am completely confused about what's to come next. Honestly, I am more confused in some areas of my life than I have ever been before. I'm talking..COMPLETELY LOST. I was viewing this lostness as good and bad at first. Good because, there's a voice in my head telling me its UNCOMFORT and in order to grow, you must be uncomfortable. Bad because, I have absolutely no idea what the next step is.

Then I read Psalm 119:71-75......

"It is good for me that I have been afflicted, That I may learn your statues. The law of Your mouth Is better to me Than thousands of coins of gold and silver. Your hands have made me and fashioned me Give me understanding, that I may learn your commandments. Those who fear you will be glad when they see me, Because I have hoped in Your word. I know, O Lord, that Your judgments are right. And that in faithfulness, You have afflicted me. "

[My Journal Entry]

"My storms, those/these hard times, those afflictions-----

It all needed to happen.

I wouldn't erase any of it because all of it was right. It feels so weird right now, some days I am so unsure, so uncomfortable but right now-in this moment IT IS ALL RIGHT.

It's all in my best interest; for my welfare and God's hand designed purpose for me. Today, I smile through my afflictions because nothing but good comes from them. Everything God does is good, everything."

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Change of mindset for my afflictions is in FULL EFFECT.

Psalm 119:65-68....

"Teach me good judgment(taste) and knowledge, For I believe your commandments. Before I was afflicted, I went astray. BUT NOW, I keep Your word. You are good, and do good. Teach me Your statues."

Although  Psalm 119:65-68 comes before the verses above--I made much more sense FOR ME to flip them and apply them in that concept accordingly. Because, to me, it's telling the testimony AFTER the affliction. It's painting the story of what life was like before that storm came, before the affliction. To me, it's saying, "Mannnn, I was off the chain before God snatched me up and got my attention." BUT NOW: The but now is so powerful to me! To me, it represents a life change, a habit change, a behavior change, A CHANGE IN MINDSET.

See, once I experience an affliction, my "taste" changes, I unconsciously adopt a new "taste" in things. Now, I'm not saying the taste stays relevant, not saying I'm perfect..what I'm saying is, I know I don't want to go back to that feeling or that "Taste".