STEP TWO
I am learning and growing in all of these steps that I will be posting about but Step 2, the relationship with myself is one that has allowed me to tap into my inner self, allowed me to stand up for myself and learn how to say no, and to gain a different form of confidence I've never had before.Now, for the people that know me would probably be shocked to hear me say I gained confidence...Jaylyn? Can't be Jaylyn! I'm not talking about the fashion forward, face beat, Instagram, selfie confidence...I'm talking about that internal, deep down in your soul..within confidence.
No one could tell me anything...I knew I was in love with myself..NOT!
As a matter of fact, I'm learning more and more as I grow that I HATED myself. I wanted to be her, I wanted to have her shape, her style, her hair...Social Media made me realize this BIG TIME! "Oh, I'm just going to delete it."
But then my life coach told me....you can delete it but the problem IS YOU...not the social media.
When she said that it felt like a brick house fell on top of my body. (Hearing what you need to hear does not feel good, trust me!) It was me! No matter how many bomb selfies I took, 100+ likes on Facebook and Instagram, Jaylyn..The love for myself was lost...
So, where does self love start?
- Pray First. God has been waiting for his daughter or his son to step up acknowledge your greatness and love for yourself. He mentions and it is mentioned in the Bible so many times the importance of LOVING YOURSELF! In fact, GOD IS LOVE. If you don't love, you are doing something wrong.. I don't care who you are!
- Understand your purpose. I'm talking about your purpose within your sex. God established 2 different purposes for a male and female. I got a clearer understanding of purpose when I read Dr. Myles Munroes' "Understanding the Purpose and Power of a Woman" PURCHASE HERE (Men, there is a male verison..Understanding the Purpose and Power of a Man PURCHASE HERE). GO TO THE BASICS-Start from the beginning! This book does this; it breaks it down so well. When I read this book, I began to find a new type of confidence because I understood why God created me! I found out what I needed to know to understand my purpose as a woman.
- Face your dirty//wrong ways. You need a life coach. Takosha Swan, my spiritual sister, my mentor, my life-coach. Let me tell you, if the people in your life do not tell you about you; those are the wrong people that need to be in your life! You need to have a life-coach. I didn't understand the importance of a life-coach until I met this lady. The first time I saw her, I knew. I knew it! When you find this person, you won't have to force it, you'll just know. (Meeting her made me understand when people talk about their spouse and they say..I just knew.) It was a different type of energy, energy I've never experienced...I'll get into that in another post...But, acknowledging your wrongs and having someone that is your accountability partner allows you to face your worse self and FIX IT! To be simple, the first time I met Takosha, we generally spoke about my skin. I had trouble with dark spots and she gave me some tips and told me to stop drinking pop. I would drink a 24 pack of Sprite in a week. A year later, I moved closer to her and of course I was still drinking Sprite. Since we were closer, she was exposed to how much I really did drink Sprite and guess what she did..called me out on it! Straight out, no regrets "That's why your skin is like that!" Did I take it offensive? YES! Was she right? YES! Do I drink Sprite as often as I did before? NO! Why? Because she was right and she held me accountable! Now, whenever I go to order a Sprite..guess who I hear in the back of my mind saying.."Don't drink that Sprite or don't get that Sprite." Your life coach has to be someone who is strong, fearless and has a true passion and loves you enough to help you!! Your old self will begin to leave, only if you are willing to allow it but guess what, all of your old self won't go away all together! It's going to take some time, some set backs, uncomfort but there will be times, like I'm experiencing as I type this, that it will click! You will get it! You will face yourself. Let me just say, in this process, you will feel lonely. Why? Because you are so accustomed to having people in your life who tell you what you want to hear! It's your comfort zone to have people in your life who will know what's wrong about you but won't say anything...or if they do, it's not from a place of love. Be sure you choose the right person, as I said before, you WILL KINOW!
- Accept You. Have you ever saw the Dove campaign where an artist draws people based on their perceptions of themselves and then draws them based on other peoples perceptions of them? I saw that campaign a couple years back and I didn't appreciate the power in it! All of the portraits the artist drew from the perceptions that other people saw were much more beautiful. Have you ever wondered what other people saw when they looked at you? Try it out!
- Continue to study, read, and view content that introduces you to the importance of self-love! Make it apart of your daily routine, just like God. Replace wasted time with well used time!
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