Do you know who you really are?
Do you know what you like? What you don't like?
What are good qualities of yourself?
What are some not so good qualities?
Who am I?
As this year progresses, I am learning more and more who I am. My likes, dislikes and WHY I actually like and dislike those things. What I want out of life, this universe..What makes me comfortable and uncomfortable..
It is true when people say that knowing yourself is the key to a lot of things in life.
In a world where it is full of comparison, competition, "keeping up the joneses" I found myself trapped in everyone else's suggestion, everyone else's passions and visions, everyone else's way...And I realized I slowly left behind my own self.
I have took time to evaluate myself, here's what I discovered....
1. I want to be successful...I will be successful.
- Success:the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
Reviewing the definition of success puts so many things in perspective for me. Sometimes we forget to acknowledge what we have done. I said acknowledge, not dwell. I am hard on myself. When things don't go right or something "fails." I immediately sink into a pit of depression.
I've always though this was a bad thing only but now I know it's a good and bad thing...
Good because I am passionate about success.....Bad because I waste a lot of time and energy into the "failure" instead of focusing on the right move.
Success is not an option for me. In fact, looking back over my life-I have usually always took/take the odds that were/are against me. Even when the situation looked like no, I had a passion deep down inside to accomplish it.
I have discovered & really became acquaint with the passion I had within for success.
2. My path is my path, no one else's. I can not and I will no longer compare my life with anyone else's.
We live in a world where we are constantly wanting what others have. The comparison, the competition...I thought the key to being where other people were was leaving EVERY SINGLE thing about myself behind and taking on someone else's way completely.
THIS IS A HUGE NO, NO!
Doing this has cost me time, happiness, relationships, opportunities, money, and my very own creativity.
This reminds me of the story of the 3 servants in the Bible:
Matthew 24:14-30
16 “The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. 17 The servant with two bags of silver also went to work and earned two more. 18 But the servant who received the one bag of silver dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money.
19 “After a long time their master returned from his trip and called them to give an account of how they had used his money. 20 The servant to whom he had entrusted the five bags of silver came forward with five more and said, ‘Master, you gave me five bags of silver to invest, and I have earned five more.’
21 “The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together![b]’
22 “The servant who had received the two bags of silver came forward and said, ‘Master, you gave me two bags of silver to invest, and I have earned two more.’
23 “The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’
24 “Then the servant with the one bag of silver came and said, ‘Master, I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn’t plant and gathering crops you didn’t cultivate. 25 I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth. Look, here is your money back.’
26 “But the master replied, ‘You wicked and lazy servant! If you knew I harvested crops I didn’t plant and gathered crops I didn’t cultivate, 27 why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’
28 “Then he ordered, ‘Take the money from this servant, and give it to the one with the ten bags of silver. 29 To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away. 30 Now throw this useless servant into outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’
I have been operating just like the third servant. Afraid, not feeling worthy enough to use the gifts given to me. As a result, I have received less & the little bit I have had, it will be taken away.
I have been trapped in a mindset that "My Way or My Style" was wrong. I had to do it the way the others do it because its the only right way or they will no longer like or accept me, or my style or way was below theirs or just average. I've allowed people and situations tell me that I was not worthy because of the things that make me who I am.
From now on, I will only "Copy and Paste" the information that is valuable and relevant to me and leave the rest behind.
3. I will make mistakes.
It's human nature, mistakes will happen! They are going to happen! No way around it whatsoever. I will pay closer attention to the mistakes other people have made and learn from them.
A mistake does not make me a failure. A mistake makes me more aware of what I need to fix and what is to come next.
4. Love is important to me. Love matters a lot to me because I have been searching for it for most of my life. I want to learn more ways to radiate love. Mediating and researching love will become a norm for me. I used to think that someone else would have to bring the love out of me because my love has been damaged so much that it'll take a miracle for it to be repaired. Then, I started loving myself.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
My son is the best example of love for me. I've never loved another human like I love him. It kills me inside when people treat him wrong, when he's looked at the wrong way, when he's hurt. My son is just like me...he'll hide how he feels around people but when he gets alone, he releases all of his true feelings. I embraced this feeling of love from my son and I know focusing on that, I will be able to spread that love to others.
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